Sunday, January 25, 2009

I got to talk to mom tonight.

Yay!! Felt great to talk to to mom tonight. I got to talk to her lover, Enesto tonight. I am so happy for many reasons. Living with Graflin and feeling stability again in a long time even though I still haven't found a job yet. The economy is so bad here. The crime in Memphis is getting worse and worse everyday. Crime everywhere but I'm still keeping my head up and hoping things get better in the job area. Barely making with house call massages and doing entertainment for a few clubs and restaurants here.

Dad is finally leaving memphis Thursday. Yippee!! Two months of seeing him everyday in my apartment was a test. A test of patience that I didn't do so well in but if you knew my dad I think you would understand. It worked out though. I made it out alive. ;-) ha

Off to a better subject....
I got bangs!! First time since the 80's dude!! Posted pic above. I'm feeling the bangs so you know I got to strut my stuff.

Love and miss everyone!!

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

14 degrees tomorrow

It's going to be 14 degrees tomorrow. The high 14!! In Memphis. MEMPHIS!!!! Saying and thinking that word in the way i spelled it makes me think of my brothers making fun of me. Love it. Anyway, damn. It's freaking cold. Tonight I watched the most amazing concert for the 1298341278362122 time. Beth Hart. If you haven't heard about her i encourage you to watch her Live at the paridiso DVD. YOU"LL LOVE IT.

I've moved in with Graflin in much of a faster pace because of my father. All is well. Even though I go a lil crazy, dad is packing my stuff for FREE and less stress for free or is it? I laugh because my friends who have always told me. "be nice to your dad, he's a nice guy." are now saying "when is he leaving again?"

i laugh!!

I have never been happier. Life just feels right. I wanna know how to love. i wanna know how t love my brothers, my mother, my lover... even when the voices in my head are telling me that I'm shit. I wanna learn. I think we can do that if we pray and love. I love GOD. I'll leave that light on. Lyrics by Beth Hart I never will forget.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Losing My Mind

I've been under a lot of stress since the beginning of December. My father, is someone who lives in his own world so to say. I know he means well but he drives me insane!! Does every daughter say that about her father? Dad has basically kicked me out of my apartment and proceeded to take it over like it is his. From moving my decor around so he can fit his stuff on my shelves, to hanging pictures up on my walls, to going through my dressers, throwing away things that I've kept for years that mean the world to me, anything that can test my patience, he is doing.

I live in a high rise and even though I am a social butterfly in public, I tend to keep to myself and not associate with my neighbors. I like to keep it that way. Unfortunately, my father has been bugging every neighbor and every tenant in the Gilmore. The manager has told me several times that dad is driving the people insane and asked if I could control the situation. How do I do this? I've tried talking to him and he states that everyone is out to get him. Paranoia much? I didn't realize I was working in a mental institution.

But!! Things are looking up. My boyfriend and I have decided to live together. Dad finally decided that maybe it's time for him to leave since I'm moving in with my boyfriend. You think? Sad I had to do something like that for him to get the hint that he was overstaying his welcome.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

A New Chapter


You have to feel things in life to know you've made the right decision. I have to "feel it" just to know I'm alive. From deciding what to wear, to knowing my brothers' love, Chocca's fluffy big ears, Graflin's heart, my mother's passion.... My mother's passion... now there's a blog just for itself. If my mother can't see the sun then she goes to see it. She gets her sunburn to feel and know that she's alive.

Today and everyday is the rest of my life. It's also the rest of YOUR life. No more days will be wasted living in the shadows anymore. The mistakes I made are scars and life lessons I will never regret and become stronger from each of them. With this being said, my new chapter begins.